Fictional Norton story


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Secretary of the Interior
Gale A. Norton
-- -- -- -- -- -- --
Number 8 in the Presidential Order of Succession
-- -- -- -- -- -- --
The writing below is part of a Fictional Story, that is complete and total bull crap. This story is more bull crap than bull crap. Could I make that any clearer ? Probably not. If I find myself in a military jail cell without any of the rights under the Constitution I'll have a lot of time to think abou... I'm getting off on a rant here, back to my pile of Bull Crap higher than a mushroom cloud.

Gale Norton is the Secretary of the Interior serving in the administration of The Olson Twins. President Mary Kate Olson and Vice President and First Lady (don't ask) Ashley Olson.) 
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

When: Many years in the future.
What: Earlier in the day a nuclear explosion on the east coast of the United States destroyed all matter in the District of Columbia, Northern Virginia and most of Maryland. Following that at five minute intervals nuclear explosions destroyed all matter in a sixty mile radius of New York City, Chicago, Denver, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. The explosions in southern California triggered a series of earthquakes that dropped the left coast into the Pacific. Barstow, California is now beach front property.
Where: A visitors center at a remote National Monument in The United States of America. 
Who: Secretary Norton stands facing an Indian Tribunal Judge from a neighboring reservation. The judge is holding a bible. Surrounding them are members of her staff, her security detail,  park employees, a handful of visitors,  and members of a band camp on a field trip. Most are crying like babies. About 60% of them are so scared by the earlier events of the day that they need to change their shorts. 
         F-15's that scrambled at supersonic speed and an E-3 Sentry patrol overhead. A Marine Helicopter, soon to be identified as "Marine One", is landing in a nearby field.
        (Oops! A little baby's balloon just popped and five adults crapped and pissed themselves.)       

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

Chief Two Trees: "Secretary Norton would you please place your left hand on the bible, raise your right hand and repeat after me. I Gale Norton do solemnly swear."

Secretary Norton: "I Gale Norton do solemnly swear."

Chief Two Trees: "That I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States of America."

Secretary Norton: "That I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States of America."

Chief Two Trees: "And will to the best of my ability."

Secretary Norton: "And will to the best of my ability." 

Chief Two Trees: "Preserve, protect and defend."

Secretary Norton: "Preserve, protect and defend."

Chief Two Trees: "The Constitution of the United States." 

Secretary Norton: "The Constitution of the United States. 

Chief Two Trees: "So help me God."

President  Norton: "So Help Me God."

Band camp members: Click to hear music.



F.Y.I. -- I support and admire President George W. Bush, Vice President Richard Bruce Cheney, and Speaker of the House J. Dennis Hasstert. I hope that Bush and Cheney are in office until January 2009. The Presidential Order of Succession can and has been used in the case of resignations.

In addition I hope that the U.S.A. is around until the end of the solar system.

So much longer than those countries loaded with those squint eyed commies. Don't get me wrong, I like chinks, I just like to exercise my free speech rights to refer to people that way. As long as I'm not referring to any individual rice and dog eating slant eyes, I feel I can use any words I want to make a stupid asinine statement, even if I don't totally believe it. I mean, even if I don't believe it.

Now I am not waiving my right to use free speech to make a statement like those above to an individual rickshaw driving, bicycle riding person by name, it is just my preference not to.



 

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